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Monday 24 October 2011

Stupid and not so funny stories from my drinking years


Episode one

The first time I really recall getting into trouble with alcohol was many years ago. I was on my paper round early in the morning. It was the last paper delivery before Christmas. Coming to the end of my round I arrived at a friends house. As I was about to push the paper through the door, he opened it and asked me if i wanted a Christmas drink. I said yes. He invited me in and gave me a glass of whiskey, which made me gag and almost throw up. It was the first time I tasted whiskey. He asked me if I wanted another. I said that I would deliver the last couple of newspapers first, then come back, which I did.

He once again invited me in and gave me another glass of whiskey, which i drank, and it didn't make me gag, I liked it. So I had another one, then another. Then I was sick, and very quickly found I couldn't stand up. I certainly couldn't ride my bike all the way home. This left my friend with a dilema. He had to go out, and I couldn't go anywhere. He most definitely couldn't leave me in the house, so he half carried me down to the bottom of the garden, and carefully placed me in a wheelbarrow, where I promptly passed out.

When I came to, it was beginning to get dark. It was four o'clock in the afternoon, and I woke up still in the wheel barrow feeling as if i had been hit by a truck, and promptly threw up all over the shed floor. I then got up, walked down the garden path, got on my bike and rode home. I had a hell of a job explaining to my mother where i had been all day, and how she didn't smell the booze on me I'll never know.

I was just fifteen years old, and even then, I didn't know when to stop. It was many years before I ever touched whisky again, but the experience didn't stop me drinking other types of alcohol. And it didn't stop me becoming an alcoholic. Eventually I grew to love whiskey.

To be continued

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