What the f**k happened to my life,...oh yeah I remember, I pissed it up the wall

Two photos, separated by 50 years. What the bloody hell happened to the bit in the middle. Where did it go? And how did such a chirpy looking young lad make such an absolute cock up of what should have been a comfortable and prosperous life. How, when everything is going his way did he manage to flush it all down the toilet. The answer in one word:

ALCOHOL

Of course, when he had his first drink at around fourteen, he had no idea where this was going to lead. He didn't actually like it very much. It was back in the day when most pubs had a little window off to one side somewhere that you knocked on, and eventually a miserable looking man would slide it open and gruffly ask what you wanted. If you were lucky, and he didn't care about the law, he would let the young lad buy a pint of light ale, and with his mate he would sneak off down to the recreation ground and drink it. A couple of years later, and looking older than his years, the young man could be found propping up the bars in most of the pubs in the village, spending his meagre earnings as an apprentice in the print trade. By now he liked the alcohol very much, and it was to be his best friend for the next thirty five years or so. For thirty of those years he functioned well enough, but drank a lot, held down good jobs, drank a lot more, got married, messed that up, got divorced, got drunk and stayed there. All this time he had no idea that he was drinking alcoholically, never ever having just one drink, always being the bloke at the bar at the end of the night, asking for a final refill as they called last orders, and if there was a lock in going on, he was always there. And the sad thing is, he tought he was having a good time. He didn't know he was on his way to full blown alcoholism. That sort of sneaked up behind him and beat the crap out of him all of a sudden, when one day, when he tried to, he realised he couldn't stop, and all hell broke loose.

    He's sober now though, but alcohol took its toll, financially, physically and mentally. It cost him his home, which he sold to buy a narrow boat because he insanely thought that he could get away from all the things that were making him drink, if he went off on the canals. But he didn't stop drinking, it got much, much worse. He became a two bottle of brandy a day man, pausing only to go unconscious for short periods until his body woke him because it need more alcohol. Then he had to sell his boat bcause he ran out of money. But he didn't stop drinking. He ended up in a detox unit, but he didn't stop drinking. Then he had countless stays in hospitals and more detox units, but he didn't stop drinking. Finally, early in 2004 he was sent to a rehab, where, by the Grace of God, he did stop drinking, and slowly managed to rebuild his life.

    Today he works in social care and looks after others who find life difficult sometimes. He loves his job and is grateful to be able to do it. He knows that he shouldn't really be here, the alcohol should have killed him. It came pretty close to doing just that. He is also pretty sure that, at some point, there will still be a price to pay for the way he lived his life. He has written a book about the worst time in his life in the hope that it will do some good, and if it helps one alcoholic to get sober, then it was worth writing. If you're interested please watch the video, or go to the website demonsinthedark.com.

Taking the wrong turn with alcoholism: The biggest demon of all

Alcohol demons are talked about a lot. The biggest demon of all now seems to be the idea that alcoholism can be cured. Before I go off on one, let me introduce myself. My name is snewts and I'm an alcoholic. I haven't had a drink for seven and a half years, but I am still an alcoholic. I will always be an alcoholic, and can never take another drink of alcohol.
  I am increasing frightened and angry at the ideas now being put about by organisations offering help to addicts, and on websites on the internet, that alcoholism can be cured, or in some way controlled. No, it can't. I was many years and active alcoholic, and knew many others like me, both in and out of detox units and rehabs. I never knew one single alcoholic who, after a period of abstinence, thinking he was cured, returned to drinking and drank normally. It does not happen. I did however, sadly, know several who returned to drinking and died.
   The powers that be cannot play with peoples lives like this, changing a system that has worked successfully for more than seventy years, i.e. the twelve step programme of AA, and replace it with an unproven system of cognitive behavioural therapy and counselling in the community, probably because it's cheaper and does not rquire residential rehab.
   There is no way of  a counsellor or therapist knowing how much a client is drinking or not drinking. Alcoholics, by their very nature, lie to everybody. We lie to doctors, therapists, counsellors, and all our family and friends about how much we are drinking. Control would only be possible if the counsellor could be with the addict 24/7 to continually monitor what they were drinking....nothing else would be reliable. Even in rehab, alcoholics sneak out to get booze, so out in the community, they have no chance.
   As for the idea that alcoholism is somehow curable, this is just downright dangerous. It plants the idea in the mind of the addict that at some point in the future, after a period of abstinence, he or she will be able to drink normally again. That's just plain stupid. I feel certain that the experts who have come up with these ideas have absolutely no idea whatsoever about what it's like to be an alcoholic, the cravings, the physical withdrawals and the psychological nightmare that we have to go through to get clean and sober.
    So please, lets have no more of this nonsense. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, and AA and twelve steps works and has done for a very long time. Please don't tell the alcoholic that he can go have a drink if he stays dry for a few months, or a year or two. All you'll do is allow him or her to kill themselves. I think, after much consideration, that the real experts are those of us who have gone through the horror of alcoholic addiction and come out the other side. I don't think you can learn it in a book.
If you have an interest in this subject, because you are an alcoholic, or you know someone who is, please visit my website at http://www.demonsinthedark.com/.